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| Image by congerdesign at Pixabay |
What is the best gift you received recently? Was it a physical item—big and expensive or small and thoughtful? Was it time or encouraging words from a friend?
I have the most generous friends, and their kindness touches my heart. But there is a gift that I often overlook. I seldom think back on my day and say, "Wow! I'm so glad my friend disagreed with me today." Yet disagreement can be a gift.
The philosopher Vince Vitale described this in the book Jesus Among Secular Gods.
Academic philosophy has its vices, but, at its best, one of its virtues is that it places a very high value on truth. And one result of this is that disagreeing with someone about their core beliefs is seen as a compliment and an act of service. It's a way of saying that the other person's ideas are promising enough to take seriously, so much so that you are willing to invest time and effort into them yourself...
Something similar is true in sports. Extensive critique by a good coach means that the coach sees potential in you, and therefore believes that putting extra time into you is a good investment. (p.211)
Am I humble enough to receive this gift? How well do I give it? With love, gentleness, and respect?
That's the challenge with disagreement. It's a lot like tomatoes. We've been feasting on juicy tomatoes from Dad's garden, freshly picked and sprinkled on salads or sliced with olives and feta cheese. We share them with friends and neighbors and relish the homemade tomato sauce they share with us.
But tomatoes also spoil. They get thrown in people's faces, leaving emotional scars that are hard to heal.
Disagreement is a priceless gift that spoils just as easily, but I'm slowly learning the best methods of preservation. I'm collecting recipes to enhance its taste, and I'm training my taste buds to accept it as a gift.
If you wonder why I have been silent on my blog this summer, I've been in cooking school—studying divisive topics, trying to understand, dialoguing with a few friends. And that's where disagreement works best, in private where we feel safe and can communicate well how much we value each other.
So I invite you to join me in these culinary pursuits. If you disagree with me, message me. I respect your opinion. I treasure you. And if I ever fail in communicating that, please tell me. Tomatoes should always be served with the best olives.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. (Romans 12:10 ESV)
