Centimeters, Inches, and a Mental Block

The metric system baffled me as a child. I agonized over my math book until Mom gave up.  Home schooling offered us that blessing—the freedom to say, "Let's try again next year."

I have no idea why it was so hard for me to measure things a different way. Centimeters? Inches? Who cares? My young mind couldn't do it, and my struggle continues to this day.

Oh, I can handle centimeters now, but changing other measurements in my life has been harder. How do I measure myself? I tend to measure my success, and thus my value, by what I accomplish. Did I get my work done today? I measure myself by what other people think of me and my ability to live up to their standards.

The apostle Paul understood this struggle. Many people judged him, evaluating whether he was the best speaker, the most gifted teacher, or the greatest one to follow. His answer? "Big deal! I'm a servant of Christ, and God asks me to be faithful." (See 1 Corinthians 3:4-6; 4:1-2.)

But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God. (1 Corinthians 4:3-5 NKJV)

I try to measure myself by God's standard and not the measuring stick of our current culture, but I don't fully grasp God's ways. Besides, I know I fall short. Am I getting a B or a C? Not a chance. When I look at God's holiness, His absolute perfection, I know I'm at a solid F. Maybe I should go back to the world's standard. I have more hope there.

But God stops me with His gentle whisper, "Jen, you're My daughter. Quit grading yourself. Be faithful, and I'll praise you. I promise."

Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14 KJV)